This week the first A-Journal of the year 2010 was published. The 36th issue is all about the Third Space. “Third Space” is a term from the Culture Studies and describes the situation of a person, who was raised with two different cultures and thus is neither one of them completely. Someone, who lives in between two worlds.

Since I myself am one of those people (German-American heritage), I wrote an exclusive report on my experiences. If you want to know what goes on in my head and heart, continue reading.

A life in-between
Delights and dilemmas in a German-American world

When asked for my heritage, I respond “German-American”. Being born to an American mother and a German father, gave me both citizenships from day one. Having two citizenships has many advantages: I have civil rights in two countries and always get into the shorter line at customs in the airport, because of being able to choose which passport I show at the counter. I was raised bilingually, which means I speak, read and write both languages fluently. A yearly visit to my family and friends in the US is mandatory and whenever I want to I can travel there, knowing that I have some place to stay. Growing up with two cultures has always made my life interesting. I get to know two sides of the world, taking bites and pieces of each that interests and attracts me. This combination of the two worlds formed my character and continues to guide me through my whole life.

“What’s the big deal?”, you might ask now. It all sounds pretty great, right? It is, but there is another side of my story, too. By being raised with American and German traits, traditions and experiencing both countries regularly, I am neither completely German, nor completely American. I am in a dilemma, or as some of you know it, a third space. I am something in between. While I am in Germany, I miss the US and vice versa. When I am in one country, part of me seems to be lost. I cannot even imagine how I would decide, if I had to choose between both citizenships – because I know that it would be impossible for me. Excluding one of them would mean that half of me would be missing. My identity would be incomplete.

People who have only one citizenship do not experience this dilemma. They belong into one ‘drawer’; I cannot be put into one specifically. Leaving out the one side or subordinating one to the other simply sounds wrong to me. That is not who I am. I am a German-American. Period. Even though it is sometimes difficult to define, I personally always liked being part of two worlds. Not many people have this privilege and I cherish every moment. So what if I cannot be put into one specific drawer. I am happy that I was given the opportunity to be part of two countries and them being a part of me. The feeling of not belonging to one country alone does not really bother me too much, since I never felt differently.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just have one citizenship, but I withdraw that thought as fast as it comes to me. Parts of both countries, their habits, cultures, education and traditions belong to me equally. The saying “Home is, where the heart is”, for me, is very true. My heart is in the United States and Germany, making both countries my home. And nothing will ever change that.